Assignment 2 - Foxy Tackles The Bitch Factor...
Whatever the problem or persons involved, when a girl gets pissed….watch out! When it comes down to it, this is one arena where us females always take the top, especially when pitted against another chick.
Why? Maybe it’s because we so seldom get physical, years of relying on words and other (sometimes nastier) tactics have left us with a sense of bitchy wit that can make grown men cry. We know just what to say to hurt each other the most, and if it unfortunately gets to that point, beware because we go for it with all we have, no holds bound.
Now, not every problem results in a bitch fest. Most of the time, women prefer to sit and solve their issues over a good cup of coffee. There are times however, when that’s just not going to happen – or even more likely, our tempers get the best (worst) of us.
There are two types of bitch fights. One occurs between two girls who are also friends. These fights, whatever the cause, almost always come down to one thing,… a betrayal in some form or another of that unique sister type bond us girls tend to forge.
The second is between two girls with no ties to each other. Had Paddy’s sister and Va-Va decided to go rounds the other night that would have been a perfect example. These fights happen when for some reason two woman just clash.
The most effective way to bitch someone out (in my experience anyway) is to put them in their place, while maintaining a cool, collected image of oneself. Why? Well this serves two purposes:
a) You (hopefully) succeed in making the other girl lose her cool and look like a crazed moron.
(Some need no help here, ha!)
b) You come off as not really caring, deeming her and the situation to be below you.
This result’s in you walking away unflustered and champ.
For a guy – there’s only one thing you need to remember... stay out of it! Trust me on this; you do not want to find yourself caught in the crossfire. I’ve seen it happen and it is not pretty. Your best bet is to stay on the sidelines and observe female social structures in play. If you really feel you must offer your support to your girl, don’t fight her battle just be there to buy her a drink, (or diamonds), afterwards.
Well that’s the tip of the iceberg folks. Let’s face it; woman can be vicious to each other, sadly. I don’t see this changing any time soon. Maybe it stems from Caveman days when we we’re trying to establish the pecking order in that cozy little cave. “Bitch, did you just steal my fire? Oh no you didn’t!”
Assignment Two
Good morning Angels!
This time we need to tackle a very different assignment and it is a question in two parts.
1. Why do girls bitch about each other in such knife-stabbing ways, is there a particular subject that this happens over and have you ever had any particularly bad (or good/amusing) bitch fight?
2. What is the most effective way to bitch someone out?
Assignment One: Vava's Response
Good Morning, Willy: Belated Perspective in Style
Good afternoon, my name is Va-Va Voom and I am a fucking bitch about Fashion and all that is Haute.
In Modern Day Virgin Sacrifices, Ally Eskin of Who Moved My Truth? asks, "Why are we sexualizing our young girls?"
Putting examples of style, appearance and sexification onto our platters, Ally [indirectly] challenged the Angels to a multi-faceted consideration. Why are we sexifying our little princesses' appearance?
You will never hear a person say that it's OK for a 5-year-old or even a 10-year-old to be "sexy" or to dress "sexy" - unless they have a strong desire to end up either in jail or counseling.
Why? Because. IT'S NOT OK.
That considered, how are the shorts and pants that read"Flirty" or "Naughty" right across the butt any more OK? How can thongs for prepubescent girls be acceptable? 8-year-olds going to school with their midriffs hanging out? How does this work?
There are two* possible scenarios here:
1. The big kids wear them.
2. Mommy (or Daddy) is looking for status amongst peers via her (his) "cute" and "trendy" daughter.
It is best to consider both of the above scenarios at once. They may go hand-in-hand and besides, it's a vicious little circle similar to supply-and-demand, ironically. Ooh I just rhymed. Supply and demand, hand in hand, har har har.
And so the story begins: Little Katie sees the older girls wearing form-fitting tops and running pants that say "Foxy" across the butt to school and sees how popular they might be, the kind of attention they might be getting and decides she wants to look like them because they're just so cool and well put-together. Maybe they look a little like Hilary Duff or Mandy Moore, both of whom Katie idolizes, naturally. As a little girl, it's what she wants to grow up to be. Katie goes home to Mommy and Daddy and throws a fit about going shopping and getting some "cool" clothes because naturally, she wants to be the cool girl in class. She wants to be accepted and maybe even idolized or looked up to like Hilary and Britney. Everyone knows that in order to be the cool girl in class, even in 3rd grade, you've got to be graceful, outgoing. You've got to have all the 'right' school supplies and the prettiest Trapper Keeper and as it seems, you have to have cool hair and dress a few years ahead of yourself. You've got to be able to shave your legs and talk about makeup like the older girls do.That way you are the grown-up, mature girl for your age bracket which puts you on top of the 3rd grade social tier. It's just how it works.
She will kick and she will scream, and apparently if Mommy and Daddy 'love' her they will give in and take her down to Abercrombie to buy some child-size slutwear**. Heaven forbid Daughter Dear be traumatized by being outcast or made fun of or, oh dear, simply average. So they will also take her to highlight her hair, get some high-heeled shoes and teach her how to wear makeup. Then they'll buy her a subscription to Seventeen even if she's only 9.
Plain Jane? Not my daughter! Runway star? That's her!
Mommy might even want to fit in with all the other daughters' mommies or outdo them by having the coolest daughter on the block. It isn't just about the Jones' car anymore. Her daughter is mature and dresses ten years older than she should because Daddy buys those clothes for their darling child. Daddy takes little Katie shopping at Abercrombie while everyone else is taking their kid to Libby Lu or GAP Kids or Target and THAT, my friends, is setting a standard. Not only is it setting a standard for how children should look, it's setting a standard for how old your child should pretend to be. I can't figure out why they can't just act, dress, feel, be the age they are and live the way kids were meant to live. Innocent, free, playful, free of sexual innuendos and implications, because they are CHILDREN. Why throw away their innocence?They will spend more years being old and grown-up than they ever will being a child as it is anyway. Don't rush it. Don't put them in the position of objectification ESPECIALLY in a sexual way. There is a difference but the line is very thin.
Somehow the standard was set for young girls to follow the same trends as teens, who generally attempt to follow the less-expensive, less-haute version of trends sent straight from all designers Couture and vogue. Somehow in a translation haute couture trends are adapted to a lesser age, altered by corporation to fit teens - a little less sensual, maybe a little more colorful if it isn't already, a little less unique. The problem with this is that those trends leak down (see above) to the elementary school kids.
There are trends for each gender and every age group. Boys seem to be able to wear the same sort of style throughout their freaking lives without having to worry about what is appropriate, while females need always keep in mind their gentility. Let's face it: most girls are 'softer' than most boys. Not in personality or mind or even strength, no. In body. We have breasts that eventually develop, we are made to be mothers and we are made to nurture. That doesn't mean we don't even the platforms on the boy-girl scale, it just means that women and women-to-be have something unique to themselves that needs to be recognized, attended to, and respected within ourselves. Sure, boys have pressure to wear what's "cool" but the years have all proven that it's almost always less skin to show, less form-fitting, and less careful than it seems girls feel the pressure to wear.
"Of course, personally, I think it'd be tacky to wear diamonds before I'm forty."
-Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany's
Stop. Think. Since when is it appropriate for young girls to be showing skin? Sorry but you shouldn't be wearing a thong until you're old enough to be able to be a stripper if you so chose. There is nothing tackier than even a 16-year-old with a thong hanging out of her jeans because that was the style two years ago (hint, shitface, trends only last a season or two in real life fashion). There is nothing trashier than caked-on makeup but that's another blog. In my mind why dress in a sexy style unless you are old enough, responsible enough, and independent enough to be having sex? That would be where "sexy" came from, or vice versa, correct? Don't they go hand-in-hand? 16 years old is almost always TOO YOUNG. One may argue that women were marrying and bearing children at ages younger than that at any point in time in any point in any culture but that's very different than recreational sex. If you are not of age or proper consent (by proper consent I also mean "smart enough") to have sex you should not be showing skin to be sexy. If you're not ready for sex, how are you ready for sexy? But back to young girls. if it's inappropriate for young-to-mid-and-even-late teens to be showing insane cleavage or having to shave their pubic hair so it doesn't pop out of their jeans (ew and trashy, btw), there is absolutely no reason that even younger girls should be allowed to wear anything similar!
Unfortunately demand reaps supply and supply reaps more demand if the market is right.
It's just such a shame society is harping on little girls to grow up so fast and harping on parents to make their little girls look like little women.
My message? DRESS YOUR AGE.
You can quote me on that.
Besides, the real fashion industry is moving towards modest. If you want to dress your child like a grown-up put her in a pretty skirt-suit with a silk scarf and alligator flats.
My daughter most certainly will be the classy girl in school. Think: Audrey Hepburn at age 8.
Just saying.
<3 face="arial">*The likelihood of there being more than two possible scenarios is at about 100%. However, I don't care to discuss them as they seem to be less common than the above.
**Apologies to those who like A&F. I happen to feel that Abercrombie is a complete abomination of real class and style and if it wasn't before, has become the epitome (and biggest supplier) of skanky teen-wear. They are also one of the main stores encouraging provocatively "cute" clothing for young girls. I really, REALLY don't want to see a 14-year-old ass hanging out of a microtiny 'tennis' skirt. The end.
Assignment One - Foxy's View...
It took me half a second to decide what I wanted to address first after reading up on our topic. Allow me...
rape (def.) (rp) n.
The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.
The act of seizing and carrying off by force; abduction.
Abusive or improper treatment; violation: a rape of justice.
Let me just point out that rape is rape. I could care less what sex you are, what you're wearing or how far you go before you say stop. Yes, I am sure there are people out there who abuse the word, but let's be a little more careful how we generalize, shall we?
Moving along, the true assignment was our thoughts on how young girls dress nowadays. Are what some of these girls wearing inappropriate? Obviously. Should that be our main concern? I'm not so sure.
This topic touched me in many ways, as a parent, as a woman, and as one who was once (hard to believe I know...) a young girl. I think we all need to refocus though. As much as clothing, or lack thereof, is distressing, what we should be really concerned about is why these girls feel the need to seek attention in such a manner. I think, as a parent, more important than the clothing we let them wear is the behaviours, attitude and impressions we instil in our children. Sure, skimpy clothes may taunt would-be predators, but what they prey on even more is vulnerability and opportunity.
I'm also surprised that no one pointed that most attackers are people well known to the victim, not a case of a girl dressed sluttish who grabbed the attention of a passer by on the street.The unknown random attacker is more likely to prey on someone who has put themselves in a vulnerable position, making themselves an easy target, such as a young girl out wondering around after dark, or a child who accepts a ride from a stranger. As a parent, that is my first concern, that I teach my child those smarts, and responsibilities, to not put themselves in a position to be taken advantage of in the first place.
There is another aspect also that no one mentioned... what is appropriate for a grown woman to wear is not always appropriate for a young girl. Also, and this goes for everyone - there is a time and a place. What is completely norm to wear out for a night of clubbing is not appropriate for a place of work. For younger children, school would not be an appropriate place to wear clothes suited for a day at the beach, who's job is it to enforce this? Well for an adult I would hope you would have the common sense to know this, which we all know very well, there are people out there who simply don't, the same people who will give a bewildered look when there boss passes them up to represent the company at a convention or whatnot. Use your head. For kid's, it's the parents job, you the ones buying the clothes... what in the hell are you thinking? They are children - they need guidance. That's your job, to step up and say, hey, that's not how this works.
Of course, it's not a black and white topic; there are lots of factors and many things that should be covered. What I feel it really comes down to though, is the values and ideals we teach our kids and the example we, as adults, set ourselves. Since becoming a parent myself, I have often been told when referring to raising my child "Choose your battles" It has come to mean that there are some things you can let fly and then there are more important basic things that you have to as a parent, even if your child hates you, enforce. The big issues are: responsibility, making good choices, and respect - for themselves and everyone and everything else. The clothes, well, hopefully if you've done a proper job your child will grow up with enough confidence and respect that they won't feel the need to flash some skin for a little attention.
Assignment One
Good morning Angels.
Earlier last week I read a blog comment which intrigued me and I was hoping you could provide your thoughts on this. The blog comment I want you to read and then develop thoughts on is:
Who Moved My Truth? - Modern Day Virgin Sacrifices
I would like to thank The Wizard for pointing me in this direction.
You are all young, La-la has worked in the industry, Foxy is a mother of a small child and Va-va is a fashion guru so hopefully you can provide aspects on this across a broad spectrum
Good luck!
Assignment One: La-la's Reply
Growing up today is tough
Reading that post only makes think about growing up and how different it is now from when I was a child. Not to say that its been sooo many years, but things can change extremely within a short amount of time and I really think they have.
As a child I hardly remember spending any time indoors or watching TV or playing video games. There could be several reasons why this happened. 1. I grew up in Florida. There was tons of sun year round and when it rained it was only for a few hours. 2. I grew up with two older brothers, making me a bit of a tomboy so I loved to get dirty and be outside. 3. There were lots of kids in my neighborhood growing up so there was always someone to hangout with. 4. I was always playing some sport.
These reasons kept me away from things that might influnce children today. Today everyone (including children) has a computer, yes they can be used in a beneficial way, but also could be opening doors for your children that you don't want. Instant messangers and all that jazz can be used by pedophiles to contact young people. I've seen it several times come up in local news. I remember the early days of the internt and being in ICQ and speaking in codes so that our parents couldn't read what we were saying. I never did anything stupid, but I could have if I ran into the wrong person on the internet. I guess I was luck to start and lucky today, but I was blessed with good parents who put things into my mind that I would notice when something didn't sound right or didn't feel right. But what about the children with single parents who work all the time. With the divorce rate in this country sky rocketing. Who do they turn to when they are lonely or bored? They often turn to a media source. The TV, Movies, Video games, and the computer.
When you are a child you mimic and mock the things you see. Now that childern watching more TV then ever they are only doing what they think is the norm. If they see people on TV doing something then they think its ok to do the same. They haven't developed their brains enough to know what out of what they see is right or wrong or just made up. I do feel the need to put the blame onto the parents for this. Yes they can't control what programming is on the TV, but they can control what their children see. They can control what mediums their childern take in as well. I mean shit I'm 22 and I never had a TV in my room and only do now because we already have one in the living room.
I just think that as women on Television, Music and in movies keep dressing the same way, younger people are going to keep mocking their every moves. I think the idea should be to keep your childrens eyes diverted from certain TV programs until they are old enough to realize that people dress mostly like that for show and that not the average person wears clothes like that everyday. Also there is unbelievable pressure put on women by the magazines that they see. Models and actresses getting skinnier and sexier, but also I do think that once you get past a certain point in the media it is too hard to go back to what it was like before crossing the line.
In addition I really think kids are learning about sex way WAY before they should. I mean I really don't remember learning about that until I was older then most. I was just a busy kid, my attention was elsewhere, but I seriously don't remember when I learned about sex young. Now all these girls are wearing colored bracelets that stand for which sexual favor they are willing to do. I mean its sick!
Ok so I've gone off on a bit, well lets be honest here a few tangents, but there is so much to all of this. So many outside factors, the media, the parents, or the lack of parents, school systems, or just plain wanting to grow up too soon. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to raise a child or even be a child in this day and age. I do know that I will try and keep my child as innocent as possible when I have one.
